Saturday, December 15, 2012

Conversation With a Stranger

A complete stranger at a community organization potluck started a conversation with me like this:

Stranger: What does your wife do?

[This person was clearly a transsexual or at least a transvestite.  She wore a dress, messy makeup, fingernail polish, and a horrible wig, but clearly had a man's body, complete with old man whiskers.  She did not pass well AT ALL.  I don't post this story to make fun of her appearance, but the bizarre way she interacted with me.  And it does seem relevant that she came across as a drunk old man in a dress.] 

Me: Uh, I don’t have a wife, but I have a fiancĂ©.  She’s a teacher.
Stranger: My husband [blah blah blah.]  We’re moving to Madison.  Do you know if there’s a GLBT office at Madison University?

Me: [Assuming she means U. of Wisconsin in Madison]:  I’m sure there is. They’re a Big Ten school.

Stranger: My friend asked me the other day, “What’s the difference between a pre-op transsexual and a post-op transsexual?”  I said, “A post-op transsexual has already had surgery.”  Like me.  I’ve already had surgery, and I feel so much better since I became a woman.   The only person who really cares that I’m a woman now is my husband. 

Me:  Great.

Stranger:  I wanted to be a porn star. 

Me:  [Long pause.]  Yeah, I don’t know how someone would get into that. 

Stranger: Me neither.

Me: I think you probably have to audition. 

I swear I’m not making any of this up, including the abrupt and random change of topics.


asplenia said...

DYING LAUGHING. Are you serious???

asplenia said...

My favorite part:

"The only person who really cares that I’m a woman now is my husband."


asplenia said...

No, wait, I take that back. I think my favorite part is:

"I wanted to be a porn star."

"Yeah, I don’t know how someone would get into that."

Tim said...

Yes, I am serious. I told someone this story and she said, "You're making this up." I swear I'm not! That's when I decided to blog it. Glad you enjoyed it.