Stranger: What does your wife do?
[This person was clearly a transsexual or at least a transvestite. She wore a dress, messy makeup, fingernail polish, and a horrible wig, but clearly had a man's body, complete with old man whiskers. She did not pass well AT ALL. I don't post this story to make fun of her appearance, but the bizarre way she interacted with me. And it does seem relevant that she came across as a drunk old man in a dress.]
Me: Uh, I don’t have a wife, but I have a fiancé. She’s a teacher.
Stranger: My husband [blah blah blah.] We’re moving to Madison. Do you know if there’s a GLBT office at Madison University?
Me: [Assuming she means U. of Wisconsin in Madison]: I’m sure there is. They’re a Big Ten school.
Stranger: My friend asked me the other day, “What’s the difference between a pre-op transsexual and a post-op transsexual?” I said, “A post-op transsexual has already had surgery.” Like me. I’ve already had surgery, and I feel so much better since I became a woman. The only person who really cares that I’m a woman now is my husband.
Stranger: I wanted to be a porn star.
Me: [Long pause.] Yeah, I don’t know how someone would get into that.
Stranger: Me neither.
Me: I think you probably have to audition.
I swear I’m not making any of this up, including the abrupt and random change of topics.