Thursday, September 22, 2011

Not Mindy Kaling's Type

If you watch The Office, you know Mindy Kaling. Not only does she play Kelly Kapoor on the show, she's also a writer and producer. And she's adorable.

The fact that she was a writer and producer of the show always made me think that her portrayal of Kelly Kapoor was brilliant satire-- that she was lambasting a shallow, immature chatterbox who only cares about shopping, landing a husband, and gossip.

I love good satire, and this made me love her all the more.


So I was excited when I was going through a catalog at work and saw that Kaling has written a nonfiction book. I absolutely had to order this for our leisure-reading collection.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns) is the title, and you can read excerpts from it here:

Since I have such a huge crush on her, I was particularly interested in her "guide to being an awesome guy," because who wouldn't want Mindy Kaling to think he's awesome?

I really like her humble disclaimer to start out the section:

(Let me say here that if you’re some kind of iconoclastic dude who goes by the beat of your own drummer, you will find this insufferable. I totally respect that. I would never want you to stop wearing your skinny jeans and straw hat. I mean it!)
Problem is, I'm no iconoclast who wears straw hats. I'm just a nerd. Not even the disclaimer applies to me. Not a good sign.


Since Kaling is so good at satirizing stereotypical girl things, I expected her to be more cynical and edgy. But what surprised me about her list is how much it sounds like Kelly Kapoor. Toned down, of course, but you can see the inner Kelly lurking. Most of her tips are about fashion or "product."

So, of course, I fail her test miserably. I don't even know what a "peacoat" is, let alone how to make it look "snappy as the first day you wore it." I don't have a signature drink like James Bond, unless Hefeweizen beer counts. I don't know what "straight-leg jeans" means, I rarely ride elevators, I've never worn cologne, and I have no idea what Kiehl's or Bumble and Bumble are.

I gather from the context that Kiehl's and Bumble and Bumble are beauty products. Ironically, she says that if you only use these two products, "you look all classily self-restrained because you only have two beauty products. You’re basically a cowboy."

So what's a guy who has zero beauty products? A caveman?

The one piece of her advice I have no problem following? "Get a little jealous now and again..." That's something that this unsophisticated caveman can accomplish!


Anyway, despite my disappointment at not being anything close to Kaling's dream man, the excerpts I read were entertaining. So I recommend the book. I even bought it for my library.

Still... why is nothing about a man's taste in books on her list?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

On Being 40

I'm gonna be 40!



In eight years!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Things You Think

"A new book comes out every 30 seconds..."

Fun literary facts from my favorite author of lad lit, Nick Hornby.

Accompanied by one of my favorite new musicians (Ben Folds) and an internet duo I'd never heard of (Pomplamoose):

Smoke your lil' smoke
and drink your lil' drink.
And try to make sense of
the things that you think

I love this video. I dare you to listen to it and not bob your head.

Monday, September 12, 2011

See Salt

Has anyone else noticed the explosion of sea salt in all of our snacks lately?

Every salty snack I see in the grocery now proudly announces that it uses "sea salt."

I'd never seen this on any package five years ago. They used to just say "salt."

I know that marketing is rife with copycats. When one product hits on something big, suddenly they all start doing it.

Ever since the Old Spice Guy got popular, lots of commercials now feature quirky spokespeople making nonsensical, choppy pronouncements.


So I have three questions.

Is "sea salt" the kind of salt these products always used, but they just didn't call it that? In other words, is this explosion of sea salt just a labeling phenomenon?

Or, has sea salt itself suddenly become the Next Big Thing in snacks, and whatever they used before-- rock salt? lake salt? underground gnome salt?-- has become obsolete or too expensive?

And my third question-- what's going to be the next big ingredient that they will use to sell snacks?

"Tear Salt & Chipped Molasses!"

Made from the tears of beautiful Danish children who harvested the molasses