Sunday, October 10, 2010

Content of my Wallet

I got a new wallet a few weeks ago. It replaces one that I've had for probably ten years. I never realized how attached I could get to a wallet, but it's probably the object that has spent more time with me than any other single object this decade.

So I'm trying to get acquainted with a new one. It has a different layout so I have to decide on new locations for all the things that go there. Which has made me assess the contents of my wallet.

I wonder what is says about me-- all the things I carry around in it. If someone fished my corpse out of a river, what could they discover about the person I was based on the contents of my wallet?
  • They'd know I work in education because of my college staff ID card.
  • They would know I'm not a big consumer, because I only have three credit cards (and two of them are actually debit cards.)
  • My car insurance card would let them know I'm prudent and responsible.
  • They might think I was a hypochondriac based on my health insurance card and my health clinic ID card.
  • The library card shows that I like to read, at at least get videos, CDs, or recorded books for free.
  • Membership card in the American Library Association shows that I'm a librarian. This would be confirmed by with several copies of my business card.
  • Tennis center coupons and membership card would let them know I'm an avid tennis player.
  • My local food co-op membership card would be evidence of my hippie granola tendencies.
  • If someone paid enough attention, they would know that I'm anal about how my cash fits into my wallet: all bills facing the same way, with the denominations in order from smallest to largest.
  • In fact, the overall organization of the wallet would belie someone with a very ordered and simple life. It's not bulging with stuff, everything seems to be in its logical place, and nothing is sticking out all higgledy-piggledy. It's the wallet of a man who has his shit together.
One piece of evidence that would probably throw off the homicide detectives is the Starbucks card. Someone seeing this would probably think that I drink coffee. I don't. The card was something I won in a raffle, but I carry it around thinking I can use it the next time I find myself at a Starbucks.

So, that's it. The truth and lies that my wallet tells.

1 comment:

chocolatechip said...

I like how this post is simultaneously thoughtful and inane. I, too, keep all my bills facing rightside-up and forward, in denominational order.