The Things I Do For TV

Homer Simpson once said, "Marge, TV gives so much and asks so little."

But he wasn't trying to upgrade to digital at the time.

My cable company has been sending me lots of notices lately that they are transferring over to digital. I'm not exactly sure what this means, other than a lot more work for me. I had to order a new digital converter box, which they're giving me for free, but adds another device to my already complicated entertainment system. I like to simplify my life, but it gets harder and harder as we get more and more hooked in to the Mother Ship.


The package arrived a few weeks ago and it's just been sitting on my living room floor. Like an ugly stain in the bathroom, I'm trying to avoid it. I don't want to open it up because I know what's in there: a headache. When I first bought my TiVo (and then again when I moved last summer), I spent way too much time hooking it up and getting it to work right.

Now that everything works, they're making me introduce a new variable into the mix. I have to hook up the cable box, and then make sure it can play nice with my TV, TiVo, and DVD player.

I have too many questions, like: will using this new digital cable box give me new features that I have to pay for? How much new equipment will I have to buy-- adaptors, cables, transmogrifiers-- to make the new system work? One of the things I need, according to the instructions, is called an "IR blaster." I've been getting tired of TV lately-- is it really worth all this trouble?

I'm afraid to start this process, because I know that once I start, my life will be in disarray until I get all the issues fixed that it will invariably bring up. And I will not be able to escape into my TV world to get away from it, because that won't be working.